


crumbled to pieces

by Hellokaelyn



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24100975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellokaelyn/pseuds/Hellokaelyn
Summary: Relationships weren't her strong suit but even she knew that sometimes..it doesn't work no matter how much you try.
Relationships: Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	crumbled to pieces

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: Nick is not shed in the best light for this and for that I'm sorry but this isn't just a fic idea I had, it's more than just a story.

Relationships weren’t her strong suit.

Ellie knew they took work, needed patience, to sometimes push through whatever struggle was happening because the other side of things meant happiness, love, warmth. She also knew, sometimes it doesn’t work no matter how much you try. 

Nick was her prince, the person who made her feel things she never thought she could, her happy ending. Until one case landed on their desks and he became flooded with heartbreaking memories, felt the terror from years ago creeping back into his chest—blackening his soul day by day. Nick was reminded of the loss he experienced every moment of everyday, all the scar tissue left from mental wounds he never got help for becoming torn open once again.

It started innocently enough with a second of anger, snappy comments, disinterest- but the anger and comments turned into arguments that left her heart sore, the disinterest leaving her with a stinging feeling as if stung. 

Nick continued seeing his therapist, and Ellie actively worked to try and make things better for him—for a few moments it seemed to be working at a slow pace.

Till it. _._ . _wasn’t_.

More wounds opened in the process of trying to heal the ones he had, resulting in his anger only growing. Ellie experienced him angry before, but never once was she afraid of him...or at least she used to be able to say that.

Another argument that blurred with all the others rang through their home, it was typical of them at that point, until Nick’s rage burned hotter than before for just a second.

In a move she wasn’t expecting, Nick reached out and slammed his hand against the wall next to her with enough force to make her jump, her heart race a mile a minute, and this small brief pit of fear hit her. Fear of _him_. “Can you stop being a bitch for just a minute!” She remembered him shouting as it happened. That fear disappeared, but it left its mark, and opened her eyes to everything else that was going so wrong.

His next words when she confronted him about that feeling of fear would bury its way inside her, making her believe them to be true.

_“Come on Ellie, it’s not like I put my hands on you.”_

* * *

Ellie woke that morning with a knot in her stomach that only grew as the day went on. All beginning as she laid there in bed beside him, curled in on herself with her back towards him. She got up from the bed doing her best not to disturb him, feeling her walls begin to crumble the second she stepped into the shower. She shivered while standing under the spray of hot water. Her skin crawled, as if last night was _wrong_ , as if- Ellie blinked rapidly to ward off the tears but that only lasted until she turned to grab the shampoo bottle behind her, feeling her body protest the movement. She almost wanted to laugh at how ironic it all was, she never had problem with it all before when they had sex..and now here she was _crying_ remembering how tightly he held her hips. 

She didn't know what was wrong with her. At times she was fine with it, initiated it- but now there were nights she felt panic rush through her at the thought of him touching her. Ellie never said no even then. Speaking up and sharing was what helped keep a relationship intact..but she just couldn't do it. Instead she'd let him have his way, it made him happy and wasn't that important in a relationship too? Some of those nights despite feeling like she wanted to crawl into her own skin, Ellie could feel her body going against her responding, but other nights she could do nothing but let him have his way and wait. Those hurt the most for the man who had always cared about her in every way imaginable, would act as if nothing was off. And Ellie was left crying silently in the dark, another crack forming in her heart. 

That knot in her stomach was at its worst later in the day. Ellie wasn't prepared for it at all. 

"Hey." Nick mumbled as he came into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.

Ellie's body tensed. "Um hey." She removed his arms from around her, moving to the side. 

Nick didn't seem to notice. He always noticed before.

"Come on babe-" He smiled the smile that always made her heart beat a little more faster. She knew exactly what he was trying to do. "We have some time before the food comes." 

Ellie gripped the counter as he came closer again. 

She couldn't. Now right then, not when she hasn't mentally prepared herself yet.

"No, Nick." Ellie told him, moving away from his hands. "I'm not in the mood."

"Just wait a fucking minute-" She heard him say, seconds before she felt his hand grabbing for her arm, his hold so tight Ellie couldn't stop the whimper of pain escape as he yanked her back towards him seconds after he grabbed her. 

Nick let go as if burned, his eyes wide with a hint of fear in them, eyes flickering to the spot she was rubbing with a wince, backing away from him.

"Fuck Ellie I'm sorry-"

Ellie felt the throbbing in her arm, having no doubt there would be a hand shaped bruise.

Her heart crumbled to pieces. 

_...Sometimes it doesn’t work, no matter how much you try._

**Author's Note:**

> THERE WILL NOT BE A SEQUEL.


End file.
